Just a Statement
by Karen Hikari
Summary: It was a word. It was a slipping. It was something he didn't expect. "Dad." Reflection on Rin and Sesshoumaru's relationship.


_Just a Statement_

They were walking through the forest in an uncommon silence. Well, not really. Rin kept talking about something, but the fact that Jaken wasn't fighting with her made it seem like if there was silence.

After all those months, Rin's voice had become something he simply was used to, part of the whole picture of every day, and he wasn't bothered by it anymore than he was bothered by Jaken's stupid outbursts.

Nothing was different from their every day's routine—except for the fact that he was actually paying attention to the girl for once.

She wasn't saying much, not really. But it was something different from what she usually said, and for once, it was interesting on a level.

She was talking about the flowers and how they had medical and sometimes even magical powers.

As said, not much. But what could be expected from an eight-year-old human? Plus, what she was saying was correct, and that was why Sesshoumaru didn't bother to shut her up.

Not until she said that.

"And if you use the tonic of a camellia over a wound it will stop bleeding, dad, so I-"

She stopped abruptly, taking both of her hands to her mouth, covering it. Her eyes were opened widely as if she was extremely confused and scared.

He himself stopped walking, startled for a second, even if his face looked as emotionless as ever as he turned.

Jaken was the first to reaction.

"You, disrespectful girl! How do you dare to say something so-"

"Jaken." Silenced Sesshoumaru, sending the toad a death-glare. He slowly turned to Rin, sensing how scared de girl was. "Rin." he murmured. "What did you say?"

The girl denied and her brown eyes fell to the ground. She couldn't believe she had just said that word. Especially not to Sesshoumaru-sama. What if he decided she was as worthless as any other human and left her alone in the forest? She didn't want that to happen. She didn't want Sesshoumaru-sama to leave, she didn't want to be alone. She shouldn't have said that. Not ever.

But he was asking her to repeat what she had just said, how could she disobey him? What if he got mad at her? Who wouldn't be mad at her? Master Jaken was right, she had just been extremely disrespectful girl. After everything Sesshoumaru-sama had done to help her . . .

But Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't hurt her, would him?

"What did you say?" He repeated, rather exasperated.

Rin's lower lip trembled, and she took a deep, shaky breath.

"Dad" she repeated, her eyes glassy with tears.

He heard Jaken take a deep intake of breath, while Rin became silent, very silent. He himself couldn't decide what to do.

"Keep walking" he ordered after some seconds as he turned around and followed his own order, his voice stoic, though for once, he wasn't completely sure about what he was doing.

Jaken nodded and followed, and Rin seconded short after, rather uncertainly and self-conscious—in the most un-Rin manner.

Though it was only midday, neither Rin nor Jaken made any attempt of talking or discussing, which was unnatural, albeit disconcerting and different.

During the last months, he had thought about having silence like something wanted and precious, and the few moments in which he actually had peace, which were really few, given Rin's and Jaken's like to be yelling at each other over nonsense's, had been something he looked forward to. But now, that same silence and stillness seemed uncomfortable, awkward, forced.

Much to his startling, he realized that he missed the girl's laughter. It had been just a few months since she had started traveling with him, but he'd became used to simple things such as her laughter or her running around or her stupid fights with Jaken, and now that they were finally gone, he wanted them back.

Even so, the whole day passed in that unwanted silence, and when the afternoon came and they stopped in a clear for eating and passing the night, Jaken and Rin kept silent.

Usually in this stops Rin liked to run around playing and laughing or to argue with Jaken about some nonsense's or to go around looking for flowers before she went to sleep.

She didn't this time. She sat perfectly still next to Ah-Un's left foot, her sight fallen to the ground, gripping the front part of her kimono and trying, for what he could tell, to be as silent and unnoticeable as possible.

She would have been successful, if it wasn't for the fact that he was trying to look at her on purpose, sitting across the clear, his back supported by a willow.

Long after night had fallen, and long after Jaken was sleeping loudly while gripping the two-headed staff, she continued to remain in the same position.

She looked scared, he realized, and that was even more strange than a silent Inuyasha.

She should be asleep at this time, a voice in his mind said.

Yes, she should be asleep and he shouldn't care about it. It was completely the same for him whether if she slept or not or whether she was scared or not.

But it wasn't.

He knew that for such weak creatures sleep was something needed. And perhaps there was something else. Perhaps it was the fact that she was acting fearful around him when she hadn't before, not even when she had found him in the forest, not even when she had seen him fight and kill cold-bloodily whatever annoyed him.

"Rin." He called, stoically. The girl took a few seconds to obey, but in the end she raised her eyes to meet his. "Come." He ordered. Insecurely, she got to her feet and walked towards her, stopping at a good foot distance from him, her eyes suddenly finding the grass incredibly interesting. "Are you not going to sleep?" He asked blankly.

She denied, moving her head to left and then to right.

"And what's the reason for that sudden decision?" He inquired, feeling that he already knew the answer, but wanting her to say it out loud anyways.

She denied. Yet again.

It took a good part of his self-control to not snort out in disgust. This was a good reason why anyone would hate children, they didn't express clearly, which he found, not only bothering, but also inconvenient.

"What is you are afraid of, girl?" He asked, staring blankly at her figure.

Abruptly, she raised her eyes, looking for the demon's flawless face.

"Rin isn't afraid, Sesshoumaru-sama." She murmured nervously.

"Then why is it you've come to the resolution of not sleeping?" He pressured.

She was very nervous, he could tell just by the way her eyes wouldn't meet his gaze and how she kept fidgeting.

"Because–" she started, her voice drifting away at the end of the word "Because Rin doesn't want Sesshoumaru-sama to leave her, because Rin was careless today and she said something that she shouldn't have said because it made Sesshoumaru-sama mad and she doesn't want Sesshoumaru-sama to be mad at her. And she doesn't want Sesshoumaru-sama to leave. Rin doesn't want to be alone again". She snapped it all hurriedly, speaking faster with each word and by the end of her speech, Sesshoumaru, could feel the salty smell of tears in the air.

Something tightened in his chest. He didn't want her to cry, even if she was just a worthless and mediocre human, he didn't want her to cry.

He had thought a lot of things since the events of the morning, but the idea of abandoning her in the forest hadn't crossed his mind, and he felt that if she hadn't speak up, that idea wouldn't have ever made its way to his mind. And a part of him felt annoyed by the fact that she would even think that he would do such a thing.

"Am I right to suppose that this fear of yours is the reason for your refusing to sleep?" He asked straightforwardly, instead of the real question that had popped in his mind: 'Do you really think I would do that?'

Rin nodded slowly, thinking to herself, yet again and almost pleadingly, that Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't hurt her. She raised her hands to her eyes to clean her tears, but there was no use, because new ones kept falling.

"Such foolish things you humans think." Sesshoumaru muttered. "If that's so, you can sleep at ease, because this Sesshoumaru is not forsaking you."

At his words, emotionless and stoic, but sincere and meaningful, the girl dared to look up at him, blinking away the tears and leaving just glassy brown eyes behind. Slowly, almost tentatively a smile appeared in her lips. A shinning, innocent smile.

For a moment he feared she would run forward and hug him, that being an unwanted scene, but fortunately, she just nodded vigorously.

"With that solved, go to sleep." He ordered, staring blankly at the little human. She nodded happily, and then, just as simply, she dropped herself to the ground where she had stepped just a few moments ago and almost immediately, she was sleeping soundly.

He let her do so, let her sleep a lot closer than he would usually have–so close that he'd be able to touch her just by extending his arm– though there was no reason that obliged him to, he just didn't feel he had the right to do something like that after she had been so worried about being left completely abandoned in the middle of the forest.

Now, with Rin asleep, it was much easier to concentrate in his own thoughts.

He wanted to be mad at her. He wanted to feel his blood boiling with rage. He wanted to feel the need to kill her for what she had said earlier. But he didn't.

He wasn't bothered or maddened by the girl's words.

He was bewildered, bemused, maybe even puzzled, but not bothered. And it was the fact that the girl's words hadn't maddened him what really bothered him.

He should have been mad at her, he should be trying to kill her or, at the very least, punish her. But he wasn't, and he didn't feel any closer to now that what he had when that word had left Rin's mouth.

Thinking on it very hard, he did feel something towards the fact that the girl had referred to him like that.

He wouldn't say it, and of course wouldn't show it, but he knew he felt something. And it wasn't anger, but something completely different.

He was proud.

A part of him thought there was nothing wrong with that. A part of him told him that it shouldn't be transformed into something bad, because it wasn't. It was just a statement. He was Rin's father in a way, even if the thought was strange and distant and the rational part of his mind kept yelling another word: 'impossible'.

Had anyone told him a year aback that he would be babysitting a human pup, he would have probably thought of taunt and irony, just before he killed that bastard. He, the great Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands taking care of a human's offspring? That sure was a bad joke.

But he was actually doing that currently. He had been looking after that girl, and feeding her, and keeping any threat away from her. Jeez, he even had brought her back to life. And now, thanks to her slipping, he was having some problems understanding his feelings. Oh, that was right, he was assuming he had feelings and emotions.

He really was a son of his father, he thought bitterly.

He had felt something in his chest burst with joy and pride at the girl's words; he had felt some kind of warmness spreading in his chest instead of the well-known want of killing and blood lust.

Slowly, he found himself extending his right arm and brushing his clawed fingers against the girl's cheek. For anyone, the length of those claws would have been defined as dangerous, but for Rin they weren't, the touch simply felt smooth and cold against her skin, his fingers just slightly touching her, though she was too drowsy to realize what was happening.

As long as nobody heard her, what bad did it do that she called him whatever she wanted? He maybe, and just maybe, was her father in a way, if not in the usual one, and he found himself realizing that the thought didn't bother him as it should have.

He was Rin's father. It wasn't meant to madden him. It was just a statement, and he would take it like that.


End file.
